If All Men Cheat, Women Aren't Far Behind

Written By John Richards on Thursday, January 10, 2013 | 12:44 PM

One of the more frustrating conversations I've participated in is the, “all men are cheaters” confab. It’s one of those myths that is so pervasive that even when presented with facts and research contradicting that narrative, there is still an absolute, nearly violent rejection of the notion that men really can and do keep it in their pants.

Exactly how powerful is the myth that every guy is a cheater or a cheater-in-waiting? Even MEN buy into it! This development is more than a little disturbing to me. Such cynicism is and has been unnecessarily destructive to countless unions. How many relationships have been immediately put behind the eight ball based on that opinion? As a guy it’s a fight I’ve grown weary of fighting. You meet someone you like and she’s already formed a very general opinion on you based simply on your gender. Is this fair…to either of them?

Don’t get me wrong, I deny the charges leveled at us men with nary a hint of naivety. Guys do stray, particularly younger guys. But not nearly to the extent that you may have been led to believe. And the disparity between the percentages of women with roaming genitalia compared to men is almost negligible. There’s a website devoted to nothing but the topic of infidelity (infidelityfacts.com) and we discover that, a slight majority of men have been unfaithful (57%). Alarming number perhaps but not nearly as high as we’ve been led to believe. But get this, the same study shows that 54% of women have been unfaithful. So is it now fair to say all women cheat? Of course not.

A more disturbing fact: 74%of men admit that they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught. Women, when asked the same question, affirm that they would do a little creeping too at the rate of 68%. This particular fact does lend credence that guys may indeed be only as faithful as their options. Which may partially explain why the rich, powerful, and famous gents seem to be constantly get caught – they’ve got far more women willing to be options.

Furthermore, at a 68% clip, women appear to enjoy the occasional side piece as much as men. I’m not excusing or trying to justify the behavior of folks trolling for some strange – it’s all morally questionable – but my question is; why do we only charge men with being dogs? Based on the research, the more accurate generalization would be that everyone is cheating. That’s not a belief I personally hold – I’m much more optimistic than that – but the consistent and persistent parroting of that sort of cynical mantra has become far too widespread…and accepted as fact, when clearly it is not even close to being factual.

It’s a shame that the cheaters get all the attention when so many people make their commitments and blissfully adhere to them and never receive a fraction of the public acknowledgement that perhaps they should.

My question to you: How do you approach your new relationships? Based on your own beliefs about gender faithfulness, must the trust in a person’s faithfulness be earned or is that trust offered at the outset?



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